“Stain Remover” – An Overview by Ruth Olsen
Meridel Rawlings knows that adults who were sexually abused as children can be left scarred and crippled. Parts of their lives often remain locked up or frozen. The stress of keeping the abuse a secret can have devastating effects on the physical body and mind. A few of the damaging results can be; panic attacks, self-mutilation, low self-esteem, anxiety, anti-social behaviours, high blood pressure, childlessness, insomnia, and eating disorders, to name a few. pg.375
What is Incest?
Interestingly the Bible is the first document to ever state that cohabitation was to be reserved for the marriage bed. This standard was unheard of in ancient cultures. Boys and girls, and slaves were openly used for sexual gratification. You will find these Biblical laws in the Book of Leviticus chapter 18. The Bible describes ‘incest’ as illicit sexual activity between family members, no matter their ages. In our promiscuous societies today, people laugh at such laws. Incest carries with it a death sentence. An offender is no longer stoned to death, but he or she becomes the ‘walking dead’ unless rescued. Thank God, today INCEST is a criminal offense worldwide!
Some of us understand that INCEST is the epitome of evil. It can be likened to the ancient practice of child sacrifice in the ancient world. The innocent child who is sexually abused dies; because that child no longer exists. Something ‘other’ has replaced the innocence. Today we think nothing of the 120 million aborted babies, worldwide this year alone. See Gen. 19:30-38; 1 Kings 11:7, 33 Our hearts are hardened to the shocking facts of sexual exploitation nation to nation, a multi-billion dollar industry. The majority of us just ignore it.
Allow me to introduce you to Dr. Meridel Rawlings, a professional person, who writes, teaches, and films on the subject of incest and its consequences. She does not leave you hanging, she writes from experience, assuring us, “There is freedom to be found and fought for in my book ‘Stain Remover.’” It is available on Amazon. Here, you come face to face with the awful ongoing reality of this sexual disease in one’s generations. You may be the person in your family who will begin to bring about change and healing in your own. Is that too awful a thought?
Meridel says: “Always, remember it takes time to heal. Healing from the ‘inside out’ is a long and delicate process. Remember, we were deconstructed to be ‘the thing’ another person wanted. We were lied to and groomed. Yet, all that time, a war wages within one’s soul. I knew it was wrong and I hated my abusers and never for a second believed them but I got caught anyway. I also learned to run and hide. Sadly, I learned the art of SILENCE which was killing me. It took me years to come to the realisations that the sexual abuse I first suffered as a baby, and throughout my childhood was not my fault. That must sound ridiculous to you. Slowly, I began to learn the scenarios, the religious and familiar cover-ups, schemes, networks, deviated personalities, all were lies! Understanding dawned upon my troubled mind slowly and surely. This is deep internal work. Who could I go to discuss the things on my mind? I never felt I was crazy. I KNEW I was not! Thank God I was created a very determined person. However, every decision I made was because of this abuse. It marked me. I was stained. My trust factor was broken. I was popular, but no man got to first base with me. I could tolerate friendship but nothing else.’”
“As a 3-year-old child, I immediately told my mother about the abuse. To her credit, she tried without success, to get real help. But the love and teaching from my mother and her family grounded me spiritually in prayer and the Word. Pg. 162 163 From childhood I received love, genuine human kindness, and goodness. They were successful farmers and community orientated; sweet, kind, trustworthy and lots of good fun. Healings came slowly by degrees, but it took years. I gave my life to Jesus as a very young child of four years, and have never experienced any love to equal His before nor since. He is my Messiah, a God of the fatherless. I experienced this blessing and spiritual understanding very early in my life but have never wanted to let go of it.” How blessed is the one whom You choose, and bring near to Your house. Lamentations 3:5
“Formal education opened me to the world at large. Getting out of our home at age 17 was the first release. I felt comfortable in most situations, after where I had lived, life took on new meaning. Being a nurse, working in psychiatry, then studying and writing my Doctoral thesis on ‘Sexual Abuse in the home of a Rabbi, A Pastor and a Muslim’ brought plenty of insight and healing. Shame and fear makes and keeps us, victims, quiet victims. Fear and pride in adulthood can keep us firmly bound to the abuser’s agenda. I had more low self-esteem than pride but it is just the other face of pride. I never felt that I was a beautiful girl, which apparently I was.’” See page 169
Meridel describes the confusion, timidity, and overwhelming unwanted memories and physical symptoms that came from being terrified by the abusers in her religious family. She also suffered tremendously knowing that her siblings were also being preyed upon. pg. 158-159 Physical symptoms including coldness, nervousness, inability to speak up, compliance, sorrow, anxiety, and secret thoughts were constant. Worst of all, never able to share her true thoughts of how she read people became a prison.
She relates; “I could see right through people and developed an incredibly strong gift of discernment from childhood. I was terrified and at the sometime hated the abusers in my family. Grandpa was a beloved pastor if you can believe it even to this day. My Dad was outside of the religious fold. He could not stand the family religion of cat and mouse. And my uncle presented himself as super sophisticated. I detested how he used all people. More difficult to come to grips with was the ‘cover up’ by the paternal side of the family. It was not an approachable subject ever!” pg. 158-159
Rawlings received a very marked deliverance from Pastor E. Badgett, as a 49-year-old while on a speaking engagement in the USA. She said, “This deliverance cut me free from the ‘evil will’ or ‘control’ of my abusive Grandfather, Father and Uncle. Their covenant of evil woven over my life was completely broken at that time. The deep cleansing and powerful deliverance were more painful than childbirth. I experienced physical, emotional, and mental agony and vomited with the pain. This was followed by complete physical exhaustion and I had to rest.”
Quote, “I was desperate for relief from the mental torment and recognise that Pastor Badgett had the authority of God’s Spirit upon her to break the binding terror of incest. From that day forward, I never looked back. Daily I continued to take back my God-given will from each abuser, as weak as I was. And I used the keys of success given by Messiah in Matthew 18:28 Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. In the highest authority in the universe, I decreed and banished each ‘evil will’ out of my life. Daily, I prayed, ‘Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.’”
“Life began to flow back into me. The life that comes from above, not from any man devised therapy or drug. I could now begin to think independently, stand up for myself, and write. I even began to speak out. This process cannot be hurried because of the deep painful memories and emotions that are released while declaring and claiming the victory in this intense spiritual warfare. From that point on I moved into full-time work in this field, and have never look back.” Pg. 160 161
Rawlings said; “One has to want to get free, and pay the price required. What price, you ask? Total self-exposure and honesty is the price, taking full responsibility for your own life and what you have done with it and at the same time trusting the LORD G-d to come to your aid. My healing came by degrees. The torment was gone. It was replaced with quiet confidence and joy that has never left.” pg.165 166
“Daily, when something ‘came up’ I learned to take back that part of my will that had been stolen by my abusers. When shame, grief, or anger surfaced I dealt with the thoughts that fed that emotion immediately. Fear left me, as I demanded time after time that the source of my agonies be loosed from the ‘evil will’ of an abuser. I drove the darkness out of every aspect of my fractured life. This brought healing in surprising ways. Last of all an immense frozen sea of sorrow that had filled my soul began to thaw out from my depths and dry up. Now, slowly the desire to forgive my Dad worked its way into my hardened heart. I wanted to forgive, to reach out. In an encounter, Jesus challenged me to put on my Dad’s big military boots. I refused three times before I became willing. As a child, I had hated the sound of his heavy foot-fall when he marched around the house controlling us all. Now I was to humbly learn what my Dad had undergone to cause him to become so crippled internally. Over, years, I sought my father out. The day finally came when I could gently confront him in private. He was a sick man by then and repentance came as a great relief to us both. It turned everything around. pg. 302, 303. He told me of the sexual abuses he and his siblings endured from their pastor father for years. After that memorable day, my ability to want to trust grew. Consequently, a greater respect and appreciation also grew in all of my relationships with the men in my life.” pg. 170-171
Sexual Abuse is a Criminal Offense!
Pastor E. Badgett taught Meridel the wisdom involved in creating a legal document outlining the abuse perpetrated against her. Meridel followed through and used it with her uncle who remained unapproachable. She made two copies of her ‘written testimony’ which is a legal document and signed and sealed both. They were sent registered mail, one to her uncle, the other to herself, bearing the same date and time of the post office. This legal document detailed the particular persons involved, the encounters, locations, dates, and words spoken along with the places, and dates. pg.286, 292. He never acknowledged receipt of it. But with her husband’s support, she confronted her uncle in his home when he was 85 years old. He refused to acknowledge his guilt and even then turned on her made excuses and then attacked her. That is why you must have a covering, a lawyer, a doctor, a brother, a husband, to stand with you. Never face this kind of enemy alone. Her uncle was not in the same spiritual state as her Dad was. Pg. 315
For 30 years Rawlings created seminars in Europe entitled: The Dynamics of Forgiveness in Relation to Sexual Abuse. Powerful religious leaders wanted her to ‘agree that one must always forgive no matter what the offender does.’ Meridel knew that a victim could offer forgiveness, but in like manner according to the Biblical pattern, so also the abuser must acknowledge his guilt to receive that forgiveness. Forgiveness is a two-way street. So often a sexually abused child wants to forgive. But God laid down principles and the offender, as well as the offended party, must accept that forgiveness, or the transaction remains void. The child of course will find release, but not the perpetrator. Sadly, powerful religious leaders could not agree that abusers should be confronted and brought to account. It was just asking too much, especially in the religious institutions where positions and personages are protected. As is typical, those evangelical religious heads, closed their doors to her. At that time, other leaders in this European city saw her gifting and gave Meridel a platform and office in a Roman Catholic Cathedral. The priest even supplied her with many priests who became her clients. Pg. 287- 289
Meridel teaches and offers the knowledge of the gift of deliverance she received through the expertise of Pastor Badgett. Her teaching and counseling work for healing from child sexual abuse began in Drug Houses in Switzerland. Stain Remover opens with the true story of Lara, severely disabled because of inordinate years of suffering. She came to the first Healing for the Family Seminar and was given back her life. Lara, today a Grandmother, lives in the generosity of loving-kindness; a force for good.
Meridel’s favorite teaching sessions are with children. She explains, “they are so honest and surprisingly delightful!” Her powerpoint ‘Small Talk’ begins by showing little ones how to avoid unwanted touching. Meridel also loves the ‘Questions and Answers’ sessions on this topic. Answering questions is like shooting an arrow directly to the target. It is a great way to meet the participant right where he or she is. There are mountains of misinformation out there. Healing is entirely possible. In every venue, she gave hours of her time to one on one counseling.
Dr. Rawling’s goals for deliverance and healing are listed on her website: ( ) https://stillsmallvoice.tv/about/seminars/
We isolate the pain.
We find the root cause of the damage
We then deal with it and take control over it.
We disconnect our wills from our abusers.
We choose life.
We go on to live as the joy of life springs forth.
Drs. Jay and Meridel, with their four sons participating in the media work, have established and registered a non-profit organization, Change Action Nepal in Kathmandu Nepal, and Canada. Nepali adopted daughter Indira Ghale, and her team are the ‘boots on the ground’. Indira is a wise and fearless leader who spends her life rescuing sexually trafficked boys and girls in Nepal. CAN rents a ‘safe house’ and works to protect and keep children in school. One can donate $230 which pays for every aspect of a full year of schooling. Donate at www.changeactionnepal.org. pg. 368 371
Meridel looks forward to returning to Nepal in the near future with one of her sons. They will encourage and strengthen Indira and her team. The prayer is that enough funds will be forthcoming to allow them to purchase land and a house outside of Kathmandu where the CAN family will have a place to live and grow in safely. They need to grow their own food. Perhaps you would like to help? Contact: Email: meridel.rawlings@gmail.com
Compiled by Ruth Olsen, Denver Colorado USA
Meridel Rawlings Ph.D., Stain Remover: Healing the Indelible Stain of Child Sexual Abuse. Amazon. It is well worth your time.
Stain Remover book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Stain-Remover-Healing-Indelible-Sexual/dp/B093MHBVHR/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_bdcrb_top?ie=UTF8
