NO LONGER A VICTIM
For years so much of my energy was spent covering up the pain of abuse. A sense of deep brokenness was an inseparable part of my life from my crib! Tears came very easily, and I prayed to somehow fill the hole deep inside of my life. At my Grandmother’s knee I became aware of the embrace of my Creator. The warmth of the Almighty’s tender compassion for me, a tiny girl, has overshadowed my life ever since. I believe that this experience could benefit every child in the world. I told no one about my years of hurt and confusion. I was able to tell my mother at the age of 8. My studies in medical fields of nursing and psychology and volunteer work in India as a public health nurse, helped to answer some questions. The ache and invisible bruising remained a definite part of my life for years to come. I would awaken sobbing from the same nightmare over and over again. A naked man with a full erection, reminding me of my father’s behavior, was chasing me. It was horrible. My bridegroom ( we were newly weds) was the first human being that I ever shared this with. He immediately prayed for me and I was able to lie down and sleep in peace for the first time in 27 years. That particular torment never returned.
For most of my life I was silenced by the shame, humiliation and sorrow that accompanies family sexual abuse, called incest. I hurt not only for myself but for the one in three all over the globe who have been and are being sexually abused. By my mid-forties I wanted to make a difference for others who had been sexually abused and wrote the book, Honor Thy Father??? It traces the life story of a pastor’s wife whose husband was sexually abusing their two young daughters. That was when all hell broke loose. I wrote the mother’s story and was well qualified to do so considering my own background. It was the first book of it’s kind to be printed in the United States.
Today I am a thriving, happily married woman, mother of four adult sons and grandmother of eight. I stayed a victim until I was taught to confront my past and separate myself from the sins of my fathers. Today, I am enjoying a vibrant life and am privileged to reach out and help others walk into greater freedom. I am able to explain the damage that comes with sexual abuse in my Family Healing Seminars. The victim will grow up to victimize others, if not reached and helped. I teach my clients how to explore their roots by creating their own family trees. Together we open the skeleton closets and deal with disturbing family secrets. Then we learn how to choose life in order to grow and bear lasting fruit. Many of us go on to make our own unique contribution in many different fields of endeavour!
His Still Small Voice
“I’m still winning if I don’t quit!” is one of my husband’s favorite sayings. That attitude characterizes what it takes to keep on allowing progressive healing to work its way deep into the fabric of your everyday life.
Abuse has many faces, but the over all lasting effects can be crippling. If our origins are rooted in abuse we will battle with low self-esteem and or pride. We will find it hard to accept that we were cherished or even wanted. We will in a way, live on the outside looking in at life going on around us yet passing us by. Some of my readers will have experienced this.
Initial lasting change began in my life when I experienced the love of my Creator. I realized that I was more than just the daughter of my parents or the granddaughter of my grandparents. That world was so stifling and humiliating. I discovered that although my earthly parents gave me physical life; my Heavenly Father gave me the actual spark of life. I made a conscious choice that I wanted to get to know Him and open my life to Him. It was a childlike act of pure faith.
My parents were simply the servants my Creator chose to create me. God alone gives life. Seeing a baby breathe for the first time is a miraculous sight and no human can create it. It is a miracle. God gives life whether we acknowledge Him or not. All He wants is to have a relationship with His children, you and I. The hope and vision of that spiritual relationship gives inner strength. Severe trauma however opens up one’s spirit unnaturally. I am speaking about that invisible part of you that transcends your physical body. The real you that perceives, thinks, feels, wonders, questions and hurts and the part of you that was meant to freely choose to have that relationship with the Creator. He never forces Himself upon us it is our choice!
When someone forces himself or herself upon you sexually, emotionally or physically to any degree, the damage is unforgettable. It is completely unnatural, foreign and abhorrent to the innocent child. It was to me. I realize now that the long-term damage caused my will to be compromised. In a way I was invisibly bound to the evil dictates or wills of my abusers. I go into great detail about this in my seminars. This is where the real damage lies and continues to cripple every aspect of our lives until we learn how to free ourselves out of these entanglements. The crippling is in the realm of the will and spirit. In order to be free one must not be afraid to work with the Almighty. To find health is a spiritual battle as well as emotional, physical and psychological. My reference book is the Bible. Remember, our Heavenly Father never imposes His will upon His children.
A Worldwide Plague
This plague is a huge dilemma in society, worse than AIDs, Cancer and Heart disease combined. One in three children are sexually abused at least once in their lives. It is a staggering figure; I am speaking of a disease that is global and hidden. Looking back, I can see how the abuse forced me into grow in spiritual realms I would never have found without that cry in my heart. I must give all the credit to the Lord who in fact, found me and has shepherded me ever since I was four years old. I am grateful to have the privilege to use my life as a reference point to teach from and help many others of us along the road to life, health, joy, peace and tranquility. Remember learning to be well is your choice!